The Seven Stages of Stroking a Feral Cat

From my observations there are seven stages to petting and stroking a feral cat or kitten that you must pass through in order to take them from wild to domesticated. It's important to go through this process in order so you can build trust between you. 

Progress – measured over time – will depend on the cat's age, confidence, personality, dominance and status, and whether they were raised as a single kitten or in a litter by their mother and whether you're socialising one or more cats. As you go through these stages and you find the cat or kitten reacting positively then praise them in a high pitch voice with a "good girl/boy" or by using their name. 

The seven phases to stroking a feral cat and building rapport are:

1. "Soft" Nape to Tail Tip Touch – this needs to be a light finger or palm brush from the nape of the neck, down the spine and to the tip of the cat's tail. The pressure is soft – you should only be able to feel their coat at this stage. Be aware of how you approach the cat. Keep yourself low on the floor and come in from the side or back rather than front on and over the top, as the cat will perceive your hand as a threatening implement and may even swat it. The first time you attempt to stroke a feral cat is best done when they're off guard. They need to be comfortable enough with you to be within two feet of your vicinity and relaxed enough so their attention is focused away from you – the best times are when they're eating or playing and concentrating on food or a toy. The first few times you touch them, expect them to either move or run away, or, to shrink from your touch so that their bodies lower onto the ground and they crawl or wriggle away. They may also hiss, but don't be dissuaded – this is quite a normal reaction and will lose its intensity as time goes by until it completely disappears. You'll need to be patient and persistent in your efforts until they feel comfortable and you feel ready to process to (2). Please note that the slinking to the floor behaviour may continue through the other stages but will eventually stop when they trust you. Also note that you may find yourself taking two steps forward on one morning and then one step back the following morning. Don't be concerned – they will gradually learn to relax. 

2. "Firm" Nape to Tail Tip Stroke – Once the cats/kittens are comfortable with the soft touch you can increase the pressure on their hair and skin to the point of actually feeling the bumpy spinal disks and their tail bones. This is more of a massaging move. Cats in general like this stroking as it quite pleasurable for them. Domesticated cats usually respond with a purr; if your feral cat begins purring at this stage then you've made excellent progress. Positive body language to look out for in response to this move is the cat walking high with a tall head and tail or twisting around to meet your hand again so you can continue patting it, or rubbing its head and flank against your hand or body.

 

3. Top of the Head Tickle – Top of the head action is perceived in general to be a threatening move, and feral cats/kittens may take a little while to grow out of this response. However, it's all in the approach. Again, don't stand or hover over the cat. Get down on the floor with them. Avoid bringing your hand in from up high; rather, bring it in from the side in a natural or organic way incorporating stage (2). Just tickle the cat briefly on the forehead for no longer than three seconds with a firm stroke. 

4. Under Chin Tickle – This is one of the most effective cat touches and will invariably raise a purr. All cats love having their chin tickled and stroked. Keep your fingers loose and scratch gently and firmly in the throat area until their head raises to meet the action. Their eyes will invariably soften and close as well.

5. Play Roll-over – Part of the socialisation process is to play with your cat and get him/her to engage in mock hunting behaviour. You can do this by dragging twine attached to a trinket across the floor or over furniture, or using my latest favourite toy – getting a strip of firm material such as flannellette and tying a knot at the other end. A relaxed and happy cat will start to tussle with the toy and do roll overs while you are tugging on one end and he/she is tugging on the other. They will expose their belly while grappling with their mock prey. You can give their belly a rub but expect to be play-bitten or play-scratched as the kitten rolls over. This is not an out-and-out aggressive response but one in which their claws maybe sheathed or unsheathed in practice hunt behaviour. The older the cat the harder the claws. It's important to note that if the cat is truly attacking you then your hands will be torn quite badly. The play responses are usually light scratches that I put down to over-enthusiasm and are a small price to pay. The scratches will heal pretty quickly. If the cat gets too rowdy then tap him/her on the nose and caution them. I have only come across this once in a lifetime of owning cats and it came from a neighbour's domesticated Siamese who had a tolerance of about two minutes for petting and then signalled her displeasure after that with a bout of side-to-side tail lashing. If her human companions didn't heed her body language then they would get a bite or scratch that would draw blood.

6. Lap Cuddle – Once the feral cat/kitten is comfortable and has bonded with you they will often climb on your lap. Alternatively, you can test it by gently lifting them up in a soft hold and depositing them in your lap. Give them a chin tickle but keep your hands loose so they don't feel constrained or trapped. They will often jump straight off, but don't take this personally. It may take a few attempts before they're comfortable to sit on your lap for a prolonged period and to get a good cuddle. If this is happening, then your feral cat is now indeed domesticated. Once the kitten feels completely safe in your lap and in your hold, then you can also pick him/her up into an upturned baby position and give their belly a soft tickle.

7. Spontaneous Flop and Roll Over – When the kittens or cats greet you by flopping over on their side and exposing their throat and belly then they signalling their trust and regard for you. Always give them a compliment and a pat or tickle in response so they can continue feeling safe and loved.